Stitches

As an ebay user.. this had me in stitches...

This man is a GENUIS!

ENJOY!!!

What Flower Did Next...

...The Artist's Way!

This is my third attempt at TAW. (I am not alone, it takes most people a few attempts to really get going).

I'm doing it because I know that in life at the moment, I am looking for something... and I know it's inside... and I know it's creative... but I don't know what it is... or where inside it is...

So I'm enlisting JC's help

I find the morning pages tough (writing 3 pages of stream of consciousness writing first thing in the a.m.)
the artist's dates easier (taking yourself off somewhere to do something creatively nurturing and fun)
the tasks hellish (discovering and talking to your inner demons)

but this time. THIS TIME. I am determined to complete the course.

So far it has encouraged me to write on this blog, study photography and sign up for oil painting and photoshop classes..

gulp..

imagine what I will do when I actually finish the course.. WOW!



Today's favourite song: Iglu and Hartly, 'In This City'

Choons..

So, I love music.

*That much should be obvious seein' as how I include a favourite song on every post.*

Like everyone, the best ones are the ones that speak to you.. tellin' ya to dance, tellin' ya to sing, tellin' ya they've been through the same crap, lyrics you love, melodies you love.

Then there are those..

yeah.. those..

you know, those..

the ones that reach right inside... touch you... speak to you... take you over... leave you tingling.. speechless... breathless

song on full volume you no longer exist.

these songs are rare and amazing.

This one does that to me:




Today's favourite (spinetinglin') song: Bhinda aujla, 'Dil Sada Luteya Gaya'

Redemption

My boy is OK!

Image taken by M. Coleman

He had his lump removed and it was benign..

Happy, happy me, happy happy him!


Today's favourite song: Noah and the Whale, 'Five Year's Time'

Serenity, Peace and Strength

6pm, Friday night, I am in bed. I am breathing slowly and chanting my favourite mantra...

serenity, peace and strength

(it gets me through some tough times)

Am in my jim jams, two cats under the duvet with me. My friends Lucozade and Ibuprofen sitting by my side.

The reason for this early retirement from the world is 'The Warning Signs'.

The Warning Signs are the signs I get that I am headed for am m.e. episode...

.....my limbs ache, my head is fuzzy, my chest and throat are sore, I feel very tired and very weak. When I get the warning signs I need to STOP and REST in order to stop the attack. Sometimes I'm too late, sometimes I'm ok. Tonight, I'm somewhere in between.

So, that is why, on a Friday night at 6pm I am in my jim jams and in bed.

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, thinking about the revellers next door and how much fun they're having (i live next door to a pub). Sometimes I feel sad, for having been interrupted from doing something I love in order to force myself to rest. Sometimes I don't feel sad at all... like tonight.

I think about all the people out there who dearly wish that they could settle down in bed at 6pm on a Friday, with nothing to do and no one to see: all those cooking dinner for their families, all those still at work, all those starting their late shifts, all those still on their way home in the rain.

And here I am, all quiet, two cosy cats at my side, breathing slowly and deeply into the quiet.

..serenity, peace and strength.

..I. AM. Serenity ... Peace ... and Strength.

These precious words that keep my alive, keep me going, keep me brave, keep me strong.


Today's favourite song: Nas, 'Hero'

Where are all the photographs...?

... well, I wanted to set up a blog exclusively for my piccies!

This is because as I learn more and more, I wanted to have somewhere I could chart my progress, somewhere to look back on and see what I have learnt, remember my journey.. won't it be great if I can look back at this in 10, 20, 30 years time!!

So that's the grand plan for my photos. That isn't to say I won't still post them here, I will but mainly, they will be here:

www.thebeginningofaphotograph.blogspot.com

Enjoy!


Today's favourite song: The Shins, 'New Slang'

Ode to a friend

She's wicked.

She's my angel in blue jeans.

She sees me out of a rut.

She listens to my moans.

She hugs away my tears.

She makes me laugh

She is beautiful.

She is talented.

She's my best mate.



Today's song: Wham, 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go'

Rescue

i shout i scream I cry, and still he watches. I shout I thump I protest. And still, he watches. I won't I can't, no No NO, i say. He. Watches.

I reach for the floor, the bottom of my will, the end of my line. Tear my hair out, scream the house alive.. spit and holler...

i pant, i moan, i lie wounded. And still. He Does Not Move.

I'm quiet. I breathe softly. I go inside. I raise my arms.

He Moves. His arm stretches out. He lifts me up.

He rescues me.


Today's favourite song: Lucinda Williams, 'Rescue'

I met God at the Cowley festival

I went to a festival recently, and the most extraordinary thing happened.

There I was, minding my own business, listening to a reggae band with ex-boy. The band finished and ex-boy wanted to go and congratulate the djembe player, which we did. He was about 40ish, hippie-ish and very smiley. As we turned to go, he gave each of us a great big bear hug..

OH

MY

GOD

Something happened in that bear hug...

All I felt when he hugged me was love. Huge, all encompassing, unconditional love. I couldn't let go. When I eventually did, thinking he must think I was a nutter.. I walked away and burst into a flood of tears.

I have never, ever, felt love like that... it was pure, it was huge, but most of all it was unconditional. It felt like that no matter what I did, what I said, or who I was.. I was loved..

Was he God in dreadlocks?? .. an angel in human form? .. an ordinary but exceptionally loving person..?

I don't think it matters.

What matters is the experience, and me never forgetting it, taking it with me and gripping it tightly to never let it go...


Today's song: Joan Osbourne, 'One of Us'

Let Go, Don't Be Mad

One of the greatest challenges brought by m.e. is:

L.E.T.T.I.N.G.G.O.A.N.D.N.O.T.G.E.T.T.I.N.G.M.A.D.

There are so many things that just break your heart in two if you let them...

Things you can't do, people you can't see, aches in your heart you can't fulfill...

I have this one this weekend. Someone I haven't seem for 17 years is in the country for a brief moment. I'm supposed to be driving down tonight to see them..

But I can't.
m.e. has me in her tight grip.

I want to rage, I want to beat myself.

But I have to let go
and not be mad
stay sane
and be my own friend
hold myself
and wrap me up in the tighest of embrace

Love me
Hold me
Be me


Today's song: James Blunt, 'Wisemen'